There are a very few Voyager stories that could’ve done with a sequel. Fair Haven isn’t one of them. Indeed this a very probably the worst Voyager... the worst Star Trek episode I’ve ever seen.
Tom Paris is in the Irish village program on the holodeck and crashes his car. He gets the computer to repair the wheel and one of the villagers sees him. Of course it’s the obligatory drunk Irish man who believes Paris is a demon because... well, I don’t know. Janeway is doing more flirting with her fancy man in the village and Harry goes on a date with one of the girls in it. A date?! Just program the fucking holodeck for sex and be done with it. Tom makes the girl turn into a cow just as Harry’s kissing her because he’s a laugh riot apparently. I don’t think Harry would be fussed to be honest. Of course, Paris is seen, that together with the Doctor who is masquerading as the priest disappearing makes more people suspicious. Janeway’s fancy man confronts her about it all so she goes to Paris and Kim who bring Janeway’s fancyman up on an empty holodeck to fix him but it turns out he’s just pretending to be fixed. Um... Anyway, he tells all the other characters he was taken to another world. Paris and Kim sneak into the program to change things but are then captured and the characters shoot the control panel. I don’t want to even go into why that doesn’t make sense. The Doctor is captured too and Janeway’s fancy man takes his holoemitter. He’s beamed to the bridge as they think it’s the Doctor. God this has to be the end now. Another 7 minutes?! I’ll do this in a sentence then, the holodeck people and Voyager crew agree to be friends, the end.
Remember TNG Ship In A Bottle? NEVER WATCH THIS. Don’t remember it? NEVER WATCH THIS. Watch Ship In A Bottle.
Parris turning the hologram into a cow is what really sets off my puke factors about this episode. It's the worst Voyager episode for me too.
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