Episode 62: Favorite Son

Yes! Go Harry. He’s finally sick of Janeway going at a snails pace and flirting with every alien on the way so he takes matters into his own hands and empties Voyager’s phasers at an alien ship. Excellent... what do you mean it’s only temporary? Ugh. Fine.

Needless to say things get back to humdruminess pretty quickly also if it’s not a word it should be. So basically it’s revealed that Harry is really an alien who’s been trying to get back to this planet. You see the women on this planet lure the men there and convince them they’re aliens so they can eat them or something. Just like Odyseus and the Sirens! Plus if you still hadn’t got the connection by the end of the episode Harry spells it out to Neelix.

It’s a real shame the story turned out the way it did because Harry was actually interesting at the start of the this. Then it just turns into Planet of the Femme Fatales. I don’t think Star Trek’s done a planet of the women in what... weeks? Also the original draft of the script had Harry actually being an alien at the end of it, of course this was soon rewritten as you can’t have things that actually impact on other episodes.

Apparently this is the last in what Voyager fans call the Trilogy of Terror stories that began two stories back with The Darkling. Two things: Voyager fans? Also only a trilogy? Thank you, I’m here all week.

Episode 61: Rise

Dictionary.com describes “boring” as an adjective which means causing or marked by boredom: a boring discussion or to have a boring time. I was surprised that this episode didn’t make the definition either. Wait, not surprised, saddened.

The plot, such as it is, involves Tuvok and Neelix along with some aliens (no, I don’t care what they’re called) trying to get some kind of orbital elevator thing to operate so that they can be beamed off the planet. Oh yes, and apparently there was something about asteroids and a spy or something.

Oh and what Tuvok episode would be complete without people thinking he’s being passive aggressive with him? For the 85th time he’s a bloody Vulcan! He has no emotions, he’s not a Romulan! Whereas Neelix seems to have too many emotions all filed under ‘annoying’. Though having said all that it would have been interesting if Tuvok was a Romulan. At least then he could’ve started bumping off all the Voyager cast. Ah happy thoughts.

So to sum up, basically the only interesting thing about this entire episode is that the actor who plays the lead alien is the same guy who voiced Skeletor in the 80s He-Man. Really, that’s it. Why didn’t I watch an episode of He-Man instead?

Episode 60: The Darkling

Next up we have a Doctor episode but it’s...well.... it’s not very good and the sad thing is I’ve actually been looking forward to this one. I mean, the Doctor isn’t too bad in it but he’s not in it that much at all. Kes seems to be in it as much playing the part of a lovesick teenager who’s fallen for a member of an explorer race, yeagh I know what he wants to explore. I liked Kes more when she was a Warlord, I might’ve even liked her more when she was going out with Neelix.... nah.

The Doctor thanks to his own programming tampering (which NEVER goes wrong) becomes a Jekyll/Hyde character and, this is probably the only time I’ll ever say this, I prefer him normal. That’s not to say his ‘Hyde’ wasn’t interesting because it very much is, it’s just he immediately had much more personality as soon as ‘Jekyll’ returned. I can only hope the next Doctor episode is an improvement.

Apart from the limited involvement of the Doctor this is quite a dull episode. There are far more interesting things for Kes to do than come back slightly late to to the ship to get a disapproving look from Tuvok. Yes, Tuvok, at least the person Kes is involved with isn’t a hologram.

Also I’ve just reviewed Telepathy War, a Star Trek comic crossover from 1997. Check it out at Post Atomic Horror (link above).

Episode 59: Unity

It’s the Borg! Sort of. Well almost. Chakotay discovers a group of ex-borg (assimilated during Wolf 359) living as a ‘cooperative’ who want to connect together again. I guess they’re just like regular geeks, in that things are never as good as they used to be, even when they used to be being assimilated and killing people. That’s rose tinted Borg for you.

When Riley, the woman who’s been subtly seducing Chakotay (why?!), tries to convince Janeway to help them reactivate their Borg links again Janeway is for once understandably cautious. What could possibly go wrong? But then she’s probably just jealous of Chakotay’s new bit on the side. Considering he’s the most boring man on Voyager how does he keep getting these women?

We never see the Cooperative again, which is a shame, as they were actually interesting and there’s a lot you could do with them. But I guess the Voyager producers had a plan. Ever forward and new aliens.. Or ever backward and living off old ideas. Oh and another Voyager crewperson dies in this episode. I like the idea that by the time the series finishes there’s only about five of them left trying to fly the ship with a complicated system of pulleys.

Episode 58: Blood Fever

Stop the press everyone, this is the episode where Tom Paris turns down sex! True, it is with a half insane Torres but when is she not?

Remember that other Vulcan crewmember who inexplicably turned up recently? Well he’s here just in time for his Pon Farr (turned up three episodes ago and already this Vulcan’s emotional, it must be a new record for Star Trek). For some reason he chooses Torres as his mate who gets infected with the Pon Farr (I know, don’t ask) and then stuff and things happen.

The Vulcan ritual fight at the end or the Koon-ut-kal-if-fee which they insist on calling it is strange. Well apart from Chakotay just letting it happen because why not? But it’s about thirty years after the same between Kirk and Spock in Amok Time (or Spock Amok as a friend called it) and yet the Voyager one somehow seems cheaper and less epic. But then it does look like it’s been filmed in some body's back garden.

But what’s this at the very end, a hint that the Borg are coming. Or shouldn’t that be Voyager are coming since it’s supposedly Borg space. Hey, I’m just glad it isn’t the Kazon, I think at the moment I’ll be cheering the Borg on.

Episode 57: Coda

Friends, have you ever wondered what an episode which is the cross between TNG’s Cause And Effect and The Next Phase would be? No, me neither, so it’s quite beyond me why this one exists. Still Janeway dies a few times in this so it can’t be ALL bad.

Janeway and Chakotay are in a shuttle to visit a planet for some reason. Except once there she dies they end up back in the shuttle. Again and again until I assume Jeri Taylor got bored (which was considerably after me). It’s then that she decides that it should be about being dead so Janeway’s a ghost. Then she gets bored again and it was an parasitic alien all along. Damn those aliens! Why can’t they leave us alone! What? We keep invading their territories? Fair point.

At one point the Captain’s father, Admiral Janeway turns up and I would’ve sworn I’ve seen him before in a Star Fleet uniform but I guess he must just have one of those faces to be an admiral i.e. an old face. Oh yes, and we’re all shocked when it’s revealed he’s the alien.

The most remarkable thing about this episode is that it doesn’t actually involve time travel at all. Which is the scariest thing of all.

Episode 56: Alter Ego

Ugh. I would’ve expected better from a Tuvok story, unfortunately half of it is a Harry Kim story.

So many problems with Harry. Well, apart from the fact he falls in love with a hologram which is the main conceit of the episode.. He goes to Tuvok to get rid of all emotions, then when Paris finds him meditating instead of going to a party he blames Tuvok. Of course then he has another hissy fit (see previous episodes) when he sees Tuvok his the hologram in the holodeck. At the end of the episode Tuovk apologises to HIM but doesn’t even get one back?!

The hologram in the end turns out to be a lonely alien. Seriously, how many lonely aliens are there on Star Trek? Don’t they have some kind of dating service between them by now?

Life on Voyager reminds me of regimented “fun” at holiday camps and cruise ships. I’m having fun over here thanks, “NO! You must have fun here with all these other people”. What do you expect though with Neelix as Morale Officer. Tuvok has to turn up of course due to more Vulcan racism from the crew joined in by the First Officer and Captain. It’s all one happy society in Star Fleet, no crime or racism, unless you don’t have emotions and then it’s fine!