Episode 102: Nothing Human

So in this one, Tabor, a Bajoran, who we’ve never seen before does nothing but complain from the start. “Oh I hate Seven because Torres does, oh I hate that guy because he killed my family”. Jeez get over it.

Voyager pick up a distress signal and beams an alien to sickbay to find it’s like nothing they’ve never seen before, mainly because it’s a rubber bug with no forehead makeup. To show it’s gratitude it bites Torres (twice is careless, third time is just stupidity). The Doctor doesn’t know how to help because he doesn’t have all the computer’s medical data at his disposal because that’d make sense. So he makes a hologram of a Cardassian exobiologist. Who of course Torres hates (it’s a bloody hologram) because he’s a Cardassian (making generalisations based on race on Voyager? Well unless the other person is Vulcan). Naturally the Cardassian did experiments on Bajorans (can’t show any sympathetic Cardassians on this show) and there’s an ethical debate (you can tell they love them) whether they should use him to save Torres, who herself says they shouldn’t. Janeway orders they should and Torres is saved but is angry about it. So just the same as normal then.

As for the ethical debate, Seven says something that’s meant to be profound and make us think. “The Borg are accused of assimilating information with no regard for life. This Cardassian did the same and yet, his behavior is tolerated”. First thing, no it wasn’t. Just because you’re overcome by a stronger force doesn’t mean you tolerate something.

I did like the scene towards the end where Janeway explains to Torres that she ordered her life be saved. Basically the last line amounted to “Shut up bitch, I’m the Captain.”

Episode 101: Infinite Regress

Remember the Seven who had barely concealed contempt for everyone on the ship? Well wave goodbye to her because now she’s playing board games with the child Wildman and now even one of the good games!

Seven wakes from her regeneration cycle and after searching for ages in Neelix’s kitchen eventually finds some meat to ravenously eat, oh she’s a Klingon now. She then bites Torres, wonder if Seven has Pon Farr now. But then her personality changes to others and she becomes a human child followed by a Vulcan and then a Ferengi. It seems the people she previously assimilated are resurfacing now and causing her chaos (how do they even resurface and why are they even in her mind in the first place?). This is due to a virus that an alien race have given to a Borg cube which then destroyed it and is affecting Seven. Hurrah, another species can destroy the Borg! They’re just rubbish these days aren’t they? But it’s okay Janeway “understands” what Seven is going through. How?! Anyway after the aliens fire on Voyager for ruining their plan and Tuvok mind melds with Seven everybody’s fine again. Well except Seven as I mentioned at the top.

Jeri Ryan’s performance was pretty good for the most part, I liked her Ferengi most of all though it did seem to be more via Groucho Marx. Despite that I did find it kind of hard to care about this episode, maybe after 101 episodes malaise is setting in. Hey if Nixon can go to China in Star Trek VI then Carter can go to the Delta Quadrant.

Episode 100: Timeless

It’s the hundredth episode! So what do they do? Time travel of course.  This time no-one actually travels in time, a message does.  Next time it'll be a feeling, if only they could spare one.

The teaser has Harry and Chakoay from the future finding Voyager underneath the ice of a planet. Turns out it’s been there for fifteen years, frozen corpses and all. Thanks to a new slipstream drive they had all hoped to get home but only Harry and Chakotay made it (imagine how disappointed StarFleet were). Now Harry’s trying to correct his mistake from all those years before (just that one?) by sending a message back to Seven’s Borg implant, which the Doctor and his holoemitter gets for him (presumably the holoemitter was pulled out of One’s corpse). They’re now fugitives from StarFleet who send Captain LaForge after them (woo!). Of course they succeed and once again another timeline is change, we’re on timeline 35 by now I’d say.

Before they use the slipstream drive they all celebrate with a party in engineering complete with champagne and drunk Seven. Surely the fact that they’ve had their hopes dashed of going to the Alpha Quadrant seven times before would mean they wouldn’t celebrate until they’re actually there?

I actually might’ve enjoyed this episode more if the main characters weren’t Harry (Seriously, I thought endlessly peppy Harry was annoying) and that other guy, you know second in command guy? Whatever his name is.

Episode 99: Once Upon A Time

There will come a time when I am on my deathbed and my life will flash before my eyes. This episode will consequently come up and dying won’t seem so bad.

So we’re introduced to the new Naomi Wildman in her holodeck programme featuring a water person called Flotter and a tree person called Trevis. Trevis is... oh god, why am I watching this? Seriously Naomi’s next to a pond, where is Frankenstein’s Monster? Right, I suppose I better tell you the story. Naomi’s mother is away on a mission which is put into danger when the Delta Flyer crashes in a planet. Rather than tell Naomi her mother might not come back , her godfather Neelix goes batshit insane and tries to keep her occupied with the holodeck so that she doesn’t suspect anything. This is something to do with his family being dead. In the end everyone confronts their feelings and lives happily ever after. Well everyone in the episode that is.

At one point Naomi finds out Neelix is on the bridge so she just decides to go there. Isn’t there any kind of security around? Oh wait he was in the Delta Flyer too.

Incidentally this episode was originally going to be almost a whole show of Neelix and Naomi in the holodeck programme with Flotter and Trevis but thanks to Rick Berman it was changed. No really, thank you Rick!

Episode 98: In The Flesh

So this story takes place on Earth. The reason I know this is because we’re shown humans at StarFleet Academy with the Golden Gate bridge in the background and an Admiral says “Welcome To Earth”. So obviously there’s no way it’s not.

Chakotay and Tuvok are walking about this Earth but it’s revealed to be set on a space station. Chakotay sets up a date with one of the cadets and before he leaves takes another one of them back to Voyager where it’s revealed that he’s really a member of Species 8472 in disguise. It seems they’re planning an invasion of Earth. Chakotay goes back for his date (while Harry Kim wonders what it’s like to date an alien. Yes, Harry we know, we know). Chakotay says it’s to learn intel but I think he’s just getting a little frisky. This is all very uninteresting so, skip to the end, and Voyager and Species 8472 make friends.

Remember when Species 8472 used to be cool? One of the few aliens to defeat the Borg and now they’re going on dates with Chakotay and saying non-fluidic space has “it’s charms”. Plus they’re inane plan recreated StarFleet Academy which I suppose is fine from a reconnaissance perspective so they can get people into the mindset of being on Earth. Do they really have to include the gardener (Boothby from TNG)?

Episode 97: Extreme Risk

Today watching Voyager I learned of the word ‘thermalise’ which they thought meant being burned up on reentry but actually is the process in which neutrons lose energy in a moderator and become thermal neutrons. Quite close you’ll agree.

In this exciting installment Voyager’s probe is going to be scavenged by the Malon but it gets stuck in the upper atmosphere of a gas giant (NASA must have made it). Not being able to get it by transporter Voyager decides to build a new shuttle through replication and spare parts (So apparently the energy problem doesn’t matter now). But what’s this the Malon are building their own shuttle? Then I guess the race is on! Ugh. Meanwhile Torres is depressed and trying to harm herself using the holodeck. This is apparently because  all the Maquis are dead which she found out about fourteen episodes ago.  Guess it took time to sink in, but thanks to Chakotay (that scene in which he manipulates her into confessing the truth is one of the few good things that characters ever done) she’s fine at the end of the episode with no psychological hangups and even saves the day!

When Neelix tried to kill himself in Mortal Coil you’d have thought he’d have just gone to the holodeck and turned the safety protocols off. It would have been a much more fun way to die, you could even recreate the Simpsons thing of being force-fed donuts.

Episode 96: Drone

The Doctor’s 29th century holoemitter mixes with Seven’s Borg technology thanks to a... you guessed it, transporter malfunction. Runner up prizes for those of you who guessed time travel.

Thusly the Borgoemitter makes a maturation chamber and takes genetic information from Ensign Mulcahy (who astonishingly doesn’t die). When Seven and Janeway open the chamber they see a futuristic Borg Foetus and... Kill it! Kill it with fire! No? Well I guess they decide to do the compassionate thing then. Eventually the Borg is “born” and this being television ages to an adult Borg with a posh voice in minutes. He names himself One as he was presumably a fan of the Royal Family. So then we have the usual teach the Borg human things with Seven being his mother. I guess, this makes Janeway his Grandmother, though I don’t know if she had wheels. The Borg is alerted to One’s presence and sends a Borg Sphere. Which he promptly destroys and then to save the rest of Voyager let’s himself die so that no more Borg ships will come. Trust me, One, that’s not going to stop that.

Strangely we don’t see Ensign Mulcahy again in the episode. No wonder One was depressed after his father abandoned him at an early age and he was an accident. Of course the fact that his best friend was Neelix probably didn’t help matters either.

Decent enough episode but does feel a lot like a remix of I, Borg and The Offspring from TNG but it was a nice touch of Seven looking at her reflection in the very first and very last shots, smiling in one and not in the other.